Rule of Benedict (Chapter 72)

“They should each try to be the first to show respect to the other, supporting with greatest patience one another’s weaknesses of body or behavior, and earnestly competing in obedience to one another.”  Rule of St. Benedict (Chapter 72).

How difficult this is to do at times and yet we must remind ourselves that we are not the only ones who can be annoyed by another’s behavior. We too are the cause of great annoyance and grief to others even if we may not recognize it!

And what about being obedient to those you don’t even like? Well, St. Benedict says that doesn’t matter because you’re obedience extends to God and it is He who is in and working through this other person. The mere fact that one does not like the person means nothing at all. Love is not conditional but it also does not mean we have to be a door mat!  We have integrity just as others do because we are all children of the same God.

The Cost of Family

There’s a great cost in being a part of a family.  This is true whether or not your a layperson or a monastic.  Let’s be honest – sometimes people simply irritate the ever living hell out of you and sometimes those people are your family!  I’m really not writing this to complain but to hopefully find some meaning out of it and some spiritual side to it all.

A little history here: my family is well, toxic.  And I say this simply because that’s how it is.  Sadly, it has always been that way and there doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  In all honesty it took me many years to be able to find healing from the things I went through.  I still have a lot of the residual muck that comes with that toxicity yet I know that grace builds on nature and that somehow God can find a way to make this mess a great grace.

In the end we must do what Pope Francis and St. Benedict tell us to do – meet people where they are!  I can wish and hope that someone was better or different but that does nothing but waste time.  Or maybe I can pray for them, continue to reach out to them even when they might be hostile, and return that hostility with meekness and mercy.  I love my family even though I do not like many of the things they do.  I don’t think that this is atypical.  There are thousands and thousands of others who have gone through horrors I can’t even imagine, yet that doesn’t nullify my experience.  

I’m confident that we all have paid a price for family and have certainly made them pay at times!  We are no saints.  In the end we must discern how best to be merciful even when we want to lash out.  We know that isn’t the way to go.  We must stop, take a moment to think and pray about how God would have us act, and then do it, knowing that the grace is supplied for such an effort.  This isn’t some great act we are doing – it is justice.  Regardless of how someone else acts we do not have the right to retaliate in hatred or vindictiveness.  We must bless those who curse us as St. Paul says.  We must also be on the lookout for any self-righteousness while doing this.  We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that we are somehow superior to the other because we have forgiven them.  NO!  We forgive because we have first been forgiven!!!  Again, this is justice.

Mercy costs us and it costs us a lot.  Sometimes it costs us in our families yet we must realize that God willed these people in our lives.  We are family for a reason and not by accident.  Yes, I recognize that there are times when one must flee from family members because of abusive behavior, whether mental, physical, or sexual.  One must not be a doormat for God!  This isn’t authentic love.  But let us not forget that we too are sinners, fallen human beings who never seem to hit the mark.  If we beg for God’s mercy so often how can we possibly deny it to others or forget to ask it from them?

Catholicism Series

I don’t know if anyone has heard of Bishop Robert Barron who created the “Catholicism” series on DVD and in book.  I highly recommend getting the DVD’s!  He is both inspiring and makes you proud to be Catholic all over again.  Thanks be to God that our generation has its Fulton Sheen in Bishop Robert Barron.

Hermit Days

Considering that I am now an oblate and not a monk it tends to be a little more difficult to set aside some silent time.  Let’s be honest – the TV remote is always in site, the iPhone always has something to notify you of, and life just sometimes gets in the way.  This certainly do not mean that I cannot be a good oblate.  It just means that I need to make a little more effort in finding the time to do certain things which relate to the spiritual life.  We must remember that as oblates we promised to life out the Benedictine life, “in our situation in life.”

Since it is so difficult to find silent time I have started the practice of what I like to call Hermit Days.  Once a month I pic a particular day over the weekend and set that as my Hermit Day.  From the moment I get up there is no contact with others except when charity requires it.  My phone is on vibrate and the TV stays off.  This is a day of silence.

Typically, I will delve more into the Hours of the Divine Office, Lectio Divina, and more than anything else, take the time to simply be silent and listen.  There really is no set plans for the day other than prayer and allowing myself to be open to listening to what God wishes to say to me in the chaos of the world.

Now, I say that this is what typically happens because this past Saturday was my Hermit day and what happened was this – Lauds (Morning Prayer) and then sleep until about noon!  Yep, I prayed a little and then took a very long nap.  Some might think that this hermit day was wasted because of the sleep but I certainly do not.  I’m typically plagued by insomnia even though it has gotten better over the past year.  I hate taking naps and typically feel horrible after doing it but this time I actually listened to my body and did what was needed.

Some may think that this was just useless and yet St. Therese of Liseux used to fall asleep during the Divine Office (which if any religious is honest they will tell you they’ve done it before…I fell asleep during the Office as a monk!  It’s just human nature.  That’s the beauty of God!  He can work on us and commune with us even when we are asleep!

We must not allow these things to turn into our being lazy and using it as an excuse yet we need to realize that God is also speaking to us through out bodies, telling us what we need and when we need it.  This time I apparently needed sleep!  Did it help my spiritual life at all?  I have faith that it did because God can do all things.

I cannot recommend enough the need to have a Hermit Day or something like it in one’s life.  For me it is a must!  Even if you take an hour or two just to listen to God throughout the day!  Start small and work your way up.  See what works best for you and your living/working situation in life.  I know that it has done good for me physically, spiritually and emotionally.

We all need to take time away to be with God.  We see Jesus doing this all throughout the gospels.  The Apostles are always finding him at night off in some place communing with God.  Doing so is a must in the spiritual life.  If we want to spend eternity with God in heaven then why are we not trying to spend more time with him here on earth?

A Beautiful and Sacramental World!

There is nothing more wonderful than the smell of incense when praying. When I was a monk I remember opening the closet in my room to get my habit and a taking in the smell of incenses from the evening before.  
We are a sacramental people! Christ knew that we needed things to see, taste, smell, touch, and hear to be able to really connect with God. That is why we have the sacraments. That is why we have sacramentals, which always derive from and point back to a particular sacrament.  This is the sacramental principle!  Thanks to the incarnation – God becoming man – we now can share in His grace through physical signs and objects.
To be able to taste, see, smell, touch, hear God reaching out to us and touching us as we are – both physical and spiritual beings – is the most beautiful moment one can experience in their life. Can we doubt this?  
We have secularized too many things in life. Let us not take away the sounds, smells, tastes, experiences that come along from first receiving the sacraments and then using sacraments on your journey towards holiness..

Saints of all types!

Over the years Providence has placed in my way certain people He knew I needed.  Some have been saints, some sinners, and some in the middle.  All were sent to bring grace in one form or another – even though it may not have seemed like it at the time!

Two of those people who have really changed my life are Sally and Sam.  I met Sally about 16 years ago.  She was helping out with the RCIA class when I walked in to the parish and asked to sign up.  I remember from the very beginning that we became quick friends.  In many ways she has been a mother figure I never had, but don’t get me wrong!  We have fun like friends only do!  She’s a woman of deep faith and have lost some really close people to her recently, yet she perseveres in the faith and carries on as a Benedictine Oblate for 20 some years, seeing her job as a parish secretary a true vocation for her from God.  This is a true Benedictine!

And there is my friend Sam.  We don’t have the same beliefs on a lot of things and we are probably the exact opposite, yet we are the best of friends.  Sam has shown me that God is in everyone, not just the so called “religious”.  Even though he might not see Him working at times, God’s presence is around him.

We all like to think that saints are those characters we see on holy cards that look like some cartoon.  Biographies of the saints don’t tend to help much with this either.  They show a life that isn’t real, at least not in this world.  We need the real stuff.  We need to see the time and effort, the failures and the wins that happen in peoples lives that make them real.  To see this we will then begin to see true holiness.  It’s not some freshly painted portrait of a person who looks like their face is glowing in heaven.  No, you see it in the face of a church secretary and a friend that supports you even if he doesn’t believe in the same things you do!

Disclaimer

I want to make sure that people understand that even though I am a Benedictine Oblate of St. Meinrad Archabbey, in no way do I speak on their behalf.  This is a personal Blog, Twitter, and Facebook account which I have established to express my personal views on the oblate life.  I have not been asked to post this but wanted to do it so that people understood that I am not speaking on behalf of the monastery.  

I also submit any of my writing to the authority of the Catholic Church and willingly submit to remove anything that is contrary to the faith.  She is our constant guide given to by Christ to lead us on our way.

New Facebook Page

I have started a new Facebook page to go along with my blog and my Twitter Account: @Meinrad_Oblate. You can find the page here.  I look forward to being able to share with others their journey on the Benedictine path.  

Social Media – the breath of the Spirit

It’s wonderful that we now have things like social media.  For instance I now have this website, a Twitter account @Meinrad_Oblate and a Facebook page.  Feel Free to check that out HERE.

The Spirit blows wherever it wills.  Although there is a lot of hate and other horrible things on the internet I am glad to see that it can be used for so much good!

“That in all things God may be glorified!”

Practice of the Presence of God

One of the obligations that an Oblate of St. Meinrad has is to practice the presence of God.  This is because St. Benedict tells us that we should always keep Christ before us no matter what we are doing.  Our prayer and our work should not be considered different.  All is grace and can be offered to the Father through Christ our Lord.

How do we do this?  In part by practicing the presence of God.  What does the really mean?  Good question.  I have read the book by Br. Lawerence, “Practicing the Presence of God” several times.  I’m actually re-reading it again now.  If you haven’t read it I highly recommend it!  What stums me the most is the simplicity of this spirituality.  Allow me to give my take on how I practice the presence of God.

No matter what we are doing we can always have our minds or hearts focused on the Trinity which is dwelling within us (if we are in the state of grace).  Day and night the Trinity dwells in our soul and yet we pay little to no attention to the most awesome thing happening in our lives!

The practice of the presence of God is a spiritual practice where one makes the effort to continually remind themselves that the Trinity is dwelling within and we should turn to Him with acts of adoration, thanksgiving, praise and love.  We are never alone and should turn to the Trinity dwelling within and adore Him there.  Just a simple glance of love to the one dwelling within is sufficient enough to be an act of adoration!  Our minds can be focused on what is going on around us and yet – if we make the effort to put this into practice and rely on God – we will come to the perfect union of constantly being in God’s presence in a communion of love.

This is the practice of the presence of God or at least what I think it is.  I have a bracelet which I now wear that reminds me to always be in God’s presence.  Sure, I forget quite often but I do not get down on myself.  I simply get back up, ask God to forgive me for my negligence, and then ask for the help to continue to remain in His presence.  Why not share in on earth what we will taste in heaven?  We can do that by constantly being in God’s presence.  May He help all of us to do so.